What is Notch On?
Notch On is a website to keep track of your sexual history. Simply put, it's a way to count the number of people you've been with—from your first kiss to your last love and everything in between.
As curious humans, most of us have a mental tally of our sexual partners. Some of us even have a list in a secret little black book. That's actually where the idea for Notch On originated. My childhood friend kept a list of his own.
Whether you want to call it a hookup list or your magic number, Notch On will help you retain an accurate log of your past partners.
💤 Notch On Your Bedpost
In pop culture, the term notch on your bedpost refers to carving an indentation into one’s bedpost as a way to count the number of people they've had sex with. While this act can certainly be done with a wooden headboard, it's mostly figurative and used to downplay the encounter and/or boast about "another notch".
Here are a few popular songs that mention this idea.
| Lyrics | Artist | Song | Timestamp |
|---|---|---|---|
| I'm just a notch in your bedpost, But you're just a line in a song | Fall Out Boy | Sugar, We're Goin Down | 0:56 |
| Another notch on your bedpost | Ward Thomas | Guilty Flowers | 1:19 |
| But I'll settle for a notch on your bedpost | Dezi | Seen | 0:28 |
| I'm on the dark side of your room, With the notches on your bedpost | All Time Low | Dark Side Of Your Room | 0:44 |
Notch On uses the bedpost concept to count your sexual partners as notches. You can find your notch count within a pie chart where each colored segment represents the degree of physical intimacy as a baseball metaphor.
⚾️ Baseball Metaphor for Sex
The baseball metaphor for sex is a euphemism where the bases represent an increasing level of physical intimacy achieved in a sexual encounter. As before, the baseball sex analogy is another common cultural reference. Here are a few examples.
| Lyrics | Artist | Song | Timestamp |
|---|---|---|---|
| Me, I'm trying just to get to second base and I'd steal it if she only gave the sign | Billy Joel | Zanzibar | 1:49 |
| Love her like a baseball game I been told, tell 'em son, You don't win by getting on the base | Sam & Dave | Knock It Out of the Park | 0:56 |
| He's rounding first ... safe at second base ... safe at third ... holy cow, I think he's gonna make it | Meatloaf | Paradise By the Dashboard Light | 3:35 |
Notch On uses the baseball metaphor for sex to categorize sexual partners onto their respective bases. You can find your point total within a pie chart where each colored segment represents the point value for that base. First base is worth 1 point for example, and home plate is 4 points—but remember… this isn't a game to be won.
What Are the Bases?
While definitions of which sexual achievement each base represents vary, the analogy that the Notch On website uses is:
- First base: mouth kissing
- Second base: manual stimulation
- Third base: cunnilingus and/or fellatio
- Home plate: coitus
⚠️ It's Not a Competition
In an emotionally stable relationship, it can be healthy to share your Notch On data with your current partner, but unfortunately some will turn their sexual conquests into a competition. Mark Manson (the author of the wildly popular The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck) says it best in his book Models:
"If you choose to believe “success” with women is a lay count or some other statistical data point, then your love life will become just as objectified as the women you meet, and although you'll have the quantity of interactions to back you up on paper, all emotional quality will be lost, along with your happiness."
In reference to a healthy attitude toward dating, Mark goes on to state:
"The point is to have an enjoyable experience, not to get more notches on your bedpost."
And finally, Mark reminds us again that it's not a competition:
"Some men become satisfied with how many women they can kiss or how many phone numbers they can collect. . . . There is no happiness inherent in owning more phone numbers than anyone else. You're chasing validation, not fulfillment."
Please keep all of this in mind when using Notch On. If you are struggling to find a happy, lasting relationship, Models is a great book that will help you reframe your mindset toward dating, and 8 Rules of Love by Jay Shetty will teach you how to find love and keep it.